Elizabeth's DIY Wedding Experience

There were many times in which, as a knitter and maker, I dreamt of the personal touches I would add to my someday, maybe-one-day wedding. I think I spent most of my twenties more attached to the idea of knitting something to wear as a bride than actually being a bride. So, it's no surprise I didn't end up getting married until I was 38, and I'm so glad.

As mothers with complex adult lives and bills, Candace and I had no desire to spend a lot of money on our wedding. As someone who has always had champagne taste and a beer budget, I took the opportunity to put time and care into some of the details that mattered most to us. Here's a run down of all of the choices we made to make our perfect day without going into debt.

The small details of our wedding were some of my favorite.

In this detail shot are lots of our small touches, most of which were purchased but some of the best were items I made. My Betsey Johnson heels were a purchase that was practical (financially, and comfortably!), I wore them the whole night because I just didn't want to take them off and change into the rose gold flats I brought with me.

My engagement ring was from Will Work and our wedding rings were from Quince, both companies offer great, affordable options and we are super happy with our jewelry. If you're wondering, Candace opted for a super nice axe in lieu of an engagement ring.

I found our vow books (which came in this pretty wooden box), my clutch, and my diadem all on Etsy. They were all well within my budget and while I debated a more expensive crown for some time, I'm really happy I went with this one. It was beautiful and received a ton of compliments, and was still a price I would be okay paying for something I might not ever wear again, although you can expect to see it in future knitting pictures.

DIY wedding flowers that cost less than $500.

I will fairly and gladly state that flowers were not very important to me. Candace and I found a venue with a lovely view of the Tampa skyline and we were quite happy with the urban feel of our ceremony and the simple ballroom where our reception was held (it had beautiful large windows, which were hard to find). Of course, I needed a dramatic bouquet to compliment my regal look, and we needed centerpieces as well as some decor for the aisle. We didn't care about decorating the arch where our ceremony was held, or decorating the perimeter of the reception room where there were boring simple counters. The room was large enough and we were few enough people that with no one sitting very close to the perimeter it felt unnecessary. As stated above, the decorations cost us about $350 all in. 

How I feel about silk flowers can best be described as "mixed." Some are so beautiful that I can't believe anyone prefers fresh cut flowers with all of their delicacy and stressful coordination. Some I think are so cheap looking that I knew ordering online would stress me, I needed to see what I was getting. This appealed to me even more than real flowers, doing those on my own wasn't going to be possible and I didn't want to try. I spent a really long time trying to decide how I'd approach the flowers, so much time that I started to fear I'd actually run out. Finally, I just decided to go to Michael's, buy a bunch of stuff, and see if I liked what I could do myself. The alternative pre-made faux flower wedding arrangements didn't appeal to me and still would have added up to more money than I really wanted to spend on decorations.

1.  The flower selection at stores like Michael's and JoAnn's rotates constantly. If you are trying to do some DIY event flowers like I did, buy a lot of what you like when it's available. You are unlikely to see it again in the store and trying to find the same item on the internet, while likely possible, wasn't simple enough for me to want to try it.
2. While you're not going to see the same flowers each time you head to these giant chain craft stores, that's also a good thing. The color scheme will change season to season, but you'll have lots of new options every few weeks. 
3. Be prepared with a couple of pairs of pliers that have sharp cutting edges, the kind from the hardware store not the craft store. Cutting the individual stems loose from the big bundles these flowers come in was tedious, a bit painful for my hand (I worked in small increments for this part), and totally impossible with anything but real wire cutting clips.   

My flowers came from the supply of silk flowers in my craft room which I use for photography, and from two or three trips to our local chain stores. My inspiration came from large dramatic bouquets with lots of floral varieties, and I spent several weeks arranging many different bridal bouquet options before I settled on this one. I wrapped the stems with floral tape, and then wrapped a satin ribbon around the whole thing and tied a bow. Although I was really worried about how this project would turn out, I'm happy with how it did, my photographer even complimented it (without knowing it was DIY, score!). Now, post-wedding, my bouquet is decorating a shelf in our bedroom and makes me smile everyday.

Once I had finalized my bouquet, I focused on designing the centerpieces to tie everything together. My wardrobe, of course, was shades of peach, ivory and rose. Candace wore a slate gray suit and a peach tank which matched my hand knit top. Our girls were both in shades of gray-blue. While our true color scheme was warm golds, burgundy, and pinks, our venue also included some blue touches so I included some blue flowers in our centerpieces and aisle decor as a nod to the children.

Okay, I know you're really here to talk about our wedding knits.

There were times when I dreamt of knitting my entire wedding dress with elaborate lace panels and a long train. There are a few folks out there who have done just this and I will admit part of me envies them, still. However, when it was my turn to make a choice about knitting for my wedding, it did not feel right to make that kind of commitment. The potential stresses of things going wrong, or something turning out not how I had imagined, or needing to rework a large panel at the last minute...I don't have the nervous system baseline to take on all of this. As Jen's daughter, and now both of us, would say, it was too much for a body of this size.

So, I spent many agonizing weeks scouring the internet for potential wedding dresses that were in my budget (I did not want to spend more than $1500). There were a few contenders that I found, but nothing really felt like my style, and everything I tried on would have required expensive alterations to fit me properly. I have always loved the idea of a two piece wedding set, and this made it even harder to find what I wanted in a store/online. It was actually Jen's idea that I find a seamstress to help me design and create my look.

I was able to find someone local to me, Suzann Designs, a sweet woman who worked with me on all of the details. I was able to see samples of the fabric before ordering, and we did at least four fittings to refine the design. Suzann made my tulle and silk column skirt, as well as the burnout silk wrap top which I wore for our reception. The only real note I would share if you're thinking of a similar design, this column skirt, being fitted through the waist and very dependent on precision, did twist around a bit during the reception/ceremony. I had to do just that fussing to put it back into place. There was a wardrobe malfunction with my wrap top as well, for a little humor. Candace hadn't quite clicked the internal clasps into place, and my top fell mostly off during our first dance... whoops! But, I'm in love with this look and I have worn the top again, and will wear it again, because it's wonderful. (And stays on very well, usually).

My backless knit

I wore my knit top for the ceremony. My design emulated sheer illusion dresses which I think are really chic. As you know I am the lace queen, and on my wedding day I truly felt like it. I used lace stitches from Hitomi Shida's Japanese Knitting stitch dictionaries (I believe one stitch from each book). This yarn is Camellia Fiber Co. Flax Fingering in their limited edition color, Peach Ranunculus, which was released in Spring 2024. I swatched many different lace stitches with this yarn to make sure I found the perfect one. The criteria was more than aesthetic, the stitch pattern needed to be the right height to add bust darts (thankfully I only needed to worry about my own size). I also wanted the proportions to be right when viewed from a distance, elongating my short frame rather than shortening it. The swatch shown here is the stitch I used for the trim on the sleeve cuffs and bottom of the top.

The vision definitely included a backless top to show off my newly finished tattoo. In fact, I made several trips to NYC to finish this backpiece before the wedding. In order to hold this top in place, Jen basted it to my shapewear and the top of the skirt. This slightly altered the way the back laid at the bottom edge, but not in a way that feels troublesome.

The shaping for this top was complicated. I have a lot of curves, namely, extra lordosis (low back curve), and my shapewear gave me a more significant bust. I included horizontal darts for the bust shaping, and vertical darts in the lower back shaping so that this piece would contour my body as much as possible. Since this shaping was pretty extensive, Jen and I made a muslin together during one of our One Wild Weekends. We got some slightly stretchy jersey fabric from JoAnn's (RIP), and cut each piece to the proposed schematic before doing a quick sew together. Jen obviously helped me with this a lot as my sewing skills are still weak; but, the process was actually really simple. This gave me my final schematic, and from there I simply used my gauge to plug in the numbers and knit. I chose simple faux-pearl buttons to close the back, which is actually two pieces.

It's important to note, this piece would never have worked knit seamlessly. Lace fabric has no real structure. This is an Alpaca/Linen/Silk blend of yarn which adds no structure itself. Seaming makes this garment, and it is also infinitely easier to knit lace like this flat in pieces, dealing with fewer shaping instructions at once. I say fewer because even knit flat, there was plenty of "at the same time" shaping between back darts, a deep V, armholes, sleeve caps, and bust darts. I'm really proud of the final result. Both of my tops created different bridal looks that are both very "me." Most importantly, I felt beautiful in them and my vision for how I might look at my wedding was fulfilled. While I never had a specific vision for a dress, pink, lace, and knits have always been a part of the dream.

Candace's knit tank

Finally, let's talk about my beautiful wife. Candace's style is unconventional femme. While she generally prefers pants to a dress, and a blazer to a cardigan, she loves lace details, floral prints, and traditionally femme colors like pale purple. This gave her some challenges finding the right look for herself. She knew she wanted a suit, but she didn't want to come off as a "groom" in a typical wedding suit. 

It was quite hard to find a suit she liked, there were some things she might have changed about the one she chose, but I think this modern cut looks incredible on her. The larger challenge we faced was what to put underneath. It had not been part of our original plan for me to knit a second top. I presumed I wouldn't have time. Candace bought a really elegant cream colored silk shirt, which looks lovely on her without a jacket. However; when she tried it on with her jacket, she was a little disappointed that it felt too masculine. It was only about 8 weeks to our wedding when I decided to knit her a lace tank to match my top, which had already been finished.

My takeaways

If you are getting married and thinking of taking on some DIY projects to save money, here are my final takeaways:

1. Prioritize your budget: Some folks would have likely spent less money on clothes than I did, but the clothes were my favorite part! Whatever is important to you is worth committing some extra budget to, even if that means letting go of some less important things.
2. No one really cares: My opinion is that if you are afraid of someone at your wedding judging your budget, decor, anything, you should probably not invite that person. Remember, this is your wedding and everyone is there to celebrate you, you have nothing to prove.
3. Do what you want: On that same note, don't be afraid to be unconventional in your venue, dress, decor, etc. If you have a unique flair to add that will only make your wedding more personal, and could also be less expensive than the "traditional" route.
4. Be selective in your commitments: I took on more of the work with decor only after I was sure I'd have my knits finished with time to spare. If you're not sure of the time you have for DIY projects, choosing less is probably more. With enough lead time, you can always decide to add projects; but, if you run out of time to finish projects you've committed to, you don't have many ways to reach a resolution.
5. Please, have fun, the best thing about having a small wedding was the lack of pressure. I was able to enjoy most of the day without having too many "admin" tasks, although that was also a gift from Jen.

Do you have any questions or advice about DIY weddings? Please, add them in the comments! Thank you so much for reading about our special day. Here are a few more photos to enjoy.